Conor Heun is the closest thing MMA has to a Shaman, a master of the elements, finely in tune with the earth and the energies of the world around him. I've come to grips with that, and I hope you can too, because you're going to have to by the time you finish this interview. Rather than stand atop a mountain in Colorado guiding wary souls gently back onto their lost paths, Conor Heun is channeling his energies into fighting for now, and the next opponent he plans on sharing the cage experience with is Ryan Couture, which will be going down at Tate Vs. Rousey.

We discussed his upcoming opponent, Conor's training regimen and his methods for righting one's internal path via the use of hallucinogens in this interview conducted by Elena Lopez.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On fight day I try to sleep as long as I can.  I keep water and food like raw almonds, berries, and oats within reach of the bed. I rarely get up to go to breakfast or anything, I just continue to rest and eat slowly while in my hotel room, making sure to chew everything thoroughly and drink plenty of water.  I usually get up and get moving at around noon. 

I’ll start with a nice hot shower followed by some yoga poses and breathing exercises designed to bring awareness into my body and get the blood and energy flowing.  After stretching, breathing, I’ll usually meditate for around 20 minutes.  In my meditation I vividly imagine everything leading up to the fight, getting my hands taped, putting on the gloves, walking to the cage, feeling the Vaseline applied to my face, biting down on my mouth guard, hearing my name announced, waiving to the crowd and breathing in the energy of the arena.  I visualize looking across the cage at my opponent and opening my heart to him. I bow out of courtesy and respect and invite their soul into battle, knowing that the universe will provide us both with tremendous opportunity for growth and evolution.

I watch the fight play out in my mind, bringing heightened awareness to my breathing and the way my body feels. I work to calm any tension in my body by focusing my breath into any discomfort I feel and leaning into the sensations I’m feeling while continuing to fight in my mind. I visualize finishing the fight, helping my opponent back to his feet and embracing him, giving him thanks for the opportunity to test myself and honoring his effort.  I imagine the announcer proclaiming my victory and I allow the emotions to rush over me, feeling the full weight of the emotional dump. I’ll often find myself in tears, giving thanks to all those who support me in my journey. I’ll lay in child’s pose for as long as it takes for the feelings to dissipate.

Once my breath and heart rate have returned to normal I usually put on some dance music and start packing my bag for battle. I make sure to include my cup, compression shorts, fight shorts, mouth guard, ankle sleeves, kneepads, and walkout-T as well as my sweats.  I remember to pack a towel so I can shower up at the arena after the fight and put on clean clothes for the press conference and the after parties. 

As I board the van to head to the arena I stay focused, listening to my music on my headphones and breathing in the energy of the universe, focusing on the feeling of winning.  I’m usually fighting pretty early on the card so once I’m in the locker room I’m getting my hands tapped and putting on my gear.  I’ll do my warm ups, with high knees, butt kicks, squats, lunges, big jumps, and some pad work and grappling to get my heart rate to 175. Once I have my heart rate up I just go back to my yoga to get my mind focused and my muscles loose.  After I’m good and warm I’ll often sit in the corner with my head down and visualize snowboarding down my favorite run back home in Colorado.  This allows me to keep the mind body connection but remove myself from the fight environment to a place where I perform with precision while remaining completely relaxed and in the zone. 

            When the commissioner comes to get me for my fight I stand up excited and ready to shine. I take everything in, taking time to enjoy the sensations that wash over me as I enter the arena. I feel so blessed to be able to express my soul in front of the world. I walk to the cage almost as if I’m floating on air. I hug my coaches and close my eyes as the ref applies the Vaseline to my face. I visualize the ointment creating an impenetrable and protective coating across my face making me impervious to damage. I step into the cage and take a lap, breathing my intention into our battleground. I walk forward with an open heart to meet my teacher/opponent. I touch gloves honoring him and work to stay open. I acknowledge the ref’s instructions and dance back to my corner, completely ready for whatever may come. 

DALLAS, June 18 – Veteran lightweight Conor Heun spoiled the Strikeforce debut of Brazil’s Magno Almeida in preliminary card action at American Airlines Center Saturday, scoring a hard-fought unanimous decision in a compelling three round scrap.

Almeida vs. Heun

Scores were 29-28 across the board for Heun.

Solid groundwork was turned in by both men in the opening stanza, with Almeida working his submission attempts while Heun unleashed hard punches on the mat, as well as kicks while his opponent was on his back.

The second round was a closely contested one as well until Almeida broke it open late with an armbar attempt that looked like it was going to finish the bout. Heun battled his way free though, drawing an appreciative roar from the crowd.

The nip and tuck action continued in the third, with Almeida almost finishing Heun with a choke. But with his usual resilience, Heun broke loose and fired away with ground strikes for the majority of the rest of the round, ending the exciting battle in style.

Heun improves to 9-4 with the win; Almeida falls to 9-2.

For Five Oz. of Pain

by Brendhan Conlan

The Conor Heun competing in the cage this weekend in Dallas at “Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum” may physically resemble the 8-4 lightweight who was last seen going toe-to-toe with K.J. Noons a year ago but ask Heun and you’ll find out appearance and attitude are where the similarities stop.

A long-time staple at Legends MMA and 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu in Los Angeles, the 32-year old recently packed up shop and headed to New Mexico where he now resides as part of Greg Jackson’s camp in Albuquerque. Location is only one of the changes for Heun has undergone since nearly outpointing Noons last June, and, as he shared with Five Ounces of Pain, a big part in why people who watch his fight should expect to see an upgraded “Hurricane” hit the ring on Saturday night.

“They’re not gonna recognize me,” Heun said of MMA fans. “I’ve got a whole new set of skills, a whole new gameplan, (and) new coaches. Everything should be different, right?”

“I’ve definitely made a lot of changes,” he elaborated on the subject of his new surroundings and skills. “I left Legends MMA in California and 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu and moved out to the TapouT Ranch in Edgewood, New Mexico where Leonard Garcia and Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone train. I train with those guys at Jackson’s. I wake up. I go running, I come back and do my yoga, then drive down to Jackson’s in Albuquerque and spar with the guys. Drive back in the afternoon, usually get a grappling workout or pad workout in come evening. And that’s really all that there is. There’s no going out, there’s no bars, there’s no girls. There’s nothing but fighters trying to be the best they can be.”

Working alongside the likes of UFC veterans close to his weight like Cerrone and Garcia was a core component of Heun’s decision to move East, explaining, “I just didn’t have the quality of sparring partners like I needed (in L.A.) – there was only one other pro in the gym at the time and that was Matt Horwich. Legends MMA has great guys but they’re all amateurs. In fact a lot of them are looking to make their pro debut in July for Shark Fights.”

Other bonuses to his new home include the ability to increase his fitness based on altitude, an aspect of his arsenal also assisted by the inclusion of his brother Aaron Heun who also happens to be a professional cyclist.

“He always thought my cardio was my strong suit but after seeing my fight with Noons he sorta asked me what happened where I gassed. He’d never seen that before,” Heun said of his younger sibling. “He’s really a genius when it comes to the science of cardio and physical performance. He’s just a real bright kid.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in better shape than I am right now,” he continued. “I’ve never sparred with the caliber of guys I’m working with every day. I’m getting the baddest men on the planet every single day in the gym.”

The only downside to training at Jackson’s MMA? “It takes a little bit of toll on my confidence so I’m not as quite as confident as I normally am going in to the fight,” Heun joked of his improved training partners.

The fight Heun is of course referencing is tomorrow evening’s preliminary pairing against Magno Almeida, a 9-1-1 BJJ blackbelt who has won his last five fights. Heun spoke candidly about his mindset in reference to Almeida saying he didn’t expect to tap out no matter the situation and had no real concerns about the Brazilian’s striking.

“I know he likes Kimuras and Keylocks and Armbars, but I’ve been wrestling since I was five years old…I’ve been doing Jiu-Jitsu with Eddie Bravo since 2006. I feel pretty comfortable (on the ground) but he’s got eight submissions in nine victories so he’s a submission machine.”

“He’s certainly not going to finish me with an Armbar,” said Heun. “I mean he can take it off and mail it to me COD if he wants. I’m not tapping to an Armbar, that’s for damn sure!”

“If he wants to finish the fight with me he better knock me out and a lot of the best guys in the world have tried. Noons is considered to be one of the top strikers in MMA, definitely at lightweight, and he couldn’t knock me out. According to Compustrike numbers I hit him more times than he hit me. My chin’s been tested. People say it’s granite but its titanium. I got a titanium plate in it when I fought Marlon Matias. He broke my jaw with a knee a minute and a half into the first round. If I’m not going to drop when you break my jaw I’m certainly not getting knocked out by a kid with no knockouts.”

Heun’s focus on victory is as clear as the desire to compete after only fighting twice in the past two years due to injury and contractual issues, both matters since taken care of.

“I’m willing to take this fight wherever it goes but I want to beat this kid up, I want to hurt him,” Heun passionately stated. “I want a knockout standing. I only have one TKO and I’ve been working on my striking. I flew back to LA and worked with my boxing coach, Frankie Liles. I’ve been working with all the great coaches out here in New Mexico. I mean I’ve got a lot of pent up aggression fighting once a year. That doesn’t sit well with me. I’m ready to let it all hang out.”

“I got my contact re-signed by Zuffa after the purchase and obviously it wasn’t for winning fights – it’s for the way that I fight,” Heun continued. “I go out and I try to finish. I march forward throwing bombs. And that’s what everybody’s gonna see this time except I’m not going to get tired so I’ll be throwing just any many bombs, just as hard, in the third round as I’m throwing in the first round if he makes it that long. If he wants to take it to the ground and manages to get me there, good luck…I’m pretty deep down there too. I just want to put on a show, show my heart – my improved cardio and my improved striking – and I’m force in this weight-class. I’m 32 years old, I’m getting up there…but I want the belt.”

“I’m here to let people know I’m the real deal. I’m no pushover. Anyone who fights me wakes up the next day and knows they’ve been in a fight, but that’s not enough…I need to get my hand raised. No one else is doing it for me so I’m looking for a knockout, a TKO, a submission. I’m marching forward and there’s no way I’m getting tired. I’d be really impressed to see me anybody match me cardio-vascularly and match my heart. I don’t think I can be knocked out. I know that sounds cocky but I’ve taken some shots and I don’t go down. I sure as hell am not tapping to an Armbar. Edson Berto had my arm and popped it but in a fight you gotta do something better than that. You’ve got to turn off the switch and stop the flow of blood to my brain. If you can put me to sleep, more power to you.”

Stopping Heun is something no fighter has done yet, a fact not lost on the fiery Californian with three Split Decisions in four total losses. “I would like to leave a fight feeling like, ‘Okay, that guy was better.’ I’ve never felt that, like I’ve lost a fight. I’ve only been a little behind on the cards when the time ran out.”

A number of other notable lightweights like Noons, Justin Wilcox, Jorge Masvidal, and J.Z. Cavalcante will also see action this weekend. All of those match-ups intrigue Heun including Noons who he feels he defeated regardless of the judges’ rendering in their 2010 throwdown.

“Noons is fighting Masvidal for the #1 contender’s spot and I feel like I beat him. He cut me up and I understand damage plays a huge part but I had a near submission in the first round,” Heun explained. “ If I’d been a little more in tune with what was going on I might have capitalized on that. There were no elbows on the ground and I think I may have finished them if there were. I’ve never lost a fight where elbows were allowed. I’m coming in here in the best shape I’ve ever been in to do damage.”

However, Heun stopped short of calling the hard-hitting Hawaiian out.

“I’ve got a lot of respect for Noons. I talked to him in Vegas at the Zuffa Fighter Summit, and if he gets through Masvidal and beats Gilbert Melendez – a pretty steep hill to climb – and he’s holding the belt then I’ve got my eye on him. But I really just have my eyes on whoever is in front of me.”

In closing Heun mentioned fans can check him out on Twitter and also made sure to stay true to his roots by showing love to a few sponsors who won’t be able to advertise on his gear at “Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum” due to policy regarding certain types of support.

“I’d like to thank the sponsors that have been with me forever – Melee Fight Gear, On the Mat, and Bite Defense. Those guys started out with me and I don’t think they’re able to do anything for this fight due to the Zuffa sponsorship thing. Basically a week ago we found out a week ago all nutrition or apparel sponsors have to pay $10,000 per fighter or $100,000 per year. It really sucks I’m not able to help those people who helped me to get where I am. So Steve from Melee, Scott from On the Mat, and Mike from Bite Defense…those guys have been behind me, helped me out, and I really appreciate that. (Fighters) start out and those guys were sponsoring me when they weren’t getting anything for it. They’re giving me $500 to watch me fight in front of 500 people and get no return on it. It’s a shame that now I’m fighting on TV that I can’t return the favor and show them some love.”

Heun’s in-ring affair with Almeida can be seen live on HDNet along with the rest of the Strikeforce prelims starting at 8:00 PM EST. Other bouts include Mike Bronzoulis vs. Todd Moore and Wilcox vs. Cavalcante.

For MMA Weekly by Mick Hammond

After suffering back-to-back losses for the first time in his career, Strikeforce lightweight Conor Heun has taken steps to ensure his return to the promotion this Saturday will go differently.

“I’m not one to keep doing the same thing and expect different results,” Heun told MMAWeekly.com. “I packed up everything and left Hollywood, drove out to New Mexico, and am living on (Donald) ‘Cowboy’ Cerrone’s ranch up in Edgewood and began training at (Greg) Jackson’s with the best fighters in the world.

“I’ve sacrificed just about everything to make this happen. I’m single-minded in pursuit of the goal of being the best. I think when I step in the cage this Saturday night; people are going to see an entirely different fighter.”

Heun also employed the help of his brother Aaron, a professional cyclist, to develop a workout that’s going to allow him to push the pace for a full 15 minutes if need be without gassing out.

“He sort of explained to me the science of lactate threshold and VO2 Max and how to build up your body’s ability to process lactic acid and expand the amount of oxygen you’re able to get to your muscles,” said Heun. “With him sort of at the helm of my cardio; I feel better than I ever have.”

While he’s made changes to his game, do not think that means he’s changed his fight philosophy.

“I lost both my fights with Strikeforce and they re-signed me to a contract, and it’s certainly not because I back up and avoid people,” he said. “I go out there to smash people and prove that I’m better than him.

“When I go out there and the door closes and the bell rings, I’m looking to establish my dominance and show the other guy that he made a mistake in signing that dotted line to face me. I think anybody that’s ever fought me will tell you that win or lose, they were in a war.”

Such is the mentality he’s carrying into his bout with the debuting Magno Almeida on the HDNet televised Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum undercard from Dallas on Saturday night.

“I know he has excellent jiu-jitsu – definitely the best jiu-jitsu of anyone I’ve fought – but to the best of my knowledge, that’s gi-based jiu-jitsu, and I’m not wearing a gi in the cage,” said Heun. “I’m going out there, bite down on my mouthpiece, and throw bombs.

“If Magno isn’t up to speed, it won’t be a war; it will be a real quick night. If he’s training and he’s as bad as they say he is, then it looks like we’re going to war.”

Never one to back down from a challenge, Heun saw his own limitations as such and aggressively eliminated them so he could begin to move up the 155-pound ladder and inspire others.

“Come out to the fight or check it out on HDNet,” he closed out. “Follow me on Twitter @ConorHeun and stay in touch and let me know what you think.

“I’ve never been in a boring fight, and come fight day I’m looking to go out there and shine and inspire people to chase their dreams; the winning and losing come second.”

I get a lot of questions through email and facebook about my nutritional plan and the various supplements that I take.  I am a firm believer that it’s the little things that make the big difference, because of this belief I am very particular about what I put in my body.  I take very good care of myself, eating every 3 hours, while timing my nutrient intake to maximize performance and recovery.  In addition to the wear and tear put on my body through countless hours of sparring, mitt work, running, lifting, wrestling and jiu jitsu, there are countless environmental factors that add to the burden our bodies must bare. 

In order to perform at peak levels, maintain low body fat while keeping energy levels high and countering the negative effects of training in a major city such as Los Angeles; I do whatever is necessary to give myself the competitive edge.  In addition to eating a diet consisting of plenty of organic fruits and vegetables and lean meats.  I also supplement my diet and training regimen with Revive Energy Mints.  

These healthy, low calorie mints not only provide an energy boost through performance enhancing caffeine, but they are also packed with antioxidants from super foods from around the globe.  These free radical fighting antioxidants come from the now famous Brazilian super berry Acai, Himalayan Goji Berries, and the Mangosteen, a tropical fruit grown primarily in hot, humid climates of Southeast Asia.  In addition to these super fruits, Revive Energy Mints also bring me the benefits of Guarana, and Green Tea, two other energy boosting compounds proven to fight free radical damage and boost performance. 

One of the hardest things about being a professional MMA fighter is simply getting out of bed and getting the day of to a productive start.  After all the long hours of training I am usually sore and motivation can be lacking.  By keeping a pack of Revive Energy Mints next to my bed I pop one as soon as my alarm goes off and I know I have gotten my day off to a good start.  Not only do they give me the energy I need to get out of bed and lace up my running shoes or boxing gloves, but they also always seem to curb my appetite allowing me to get that first cardio workout of the day out of the way on an empty stomach where I am burning the most body fat possible.  After using Revive Energy Mints in my fight preparation, I won’t go without. 

In a world where the slightest advantage can mean the difference between having your hand raised and laying face down on the canvas, I rely on Revive Energy Mints to help curb my appetite, give me the energy I need to relentlessly pursue my dreams, and help fight the free radicals that can wreak havoc on my body.  When you already are eating right and working out as hard as you can, Revive can be the boost you need to elevate your game to the next level.

So I was bumbed out this morning, it was the third morning that I woke up pretty much unable to walk.  I got caught in a vaporizer on Monday night when I was rolling with Eddie Bravo.  I didn't feel it at the time but he got me pretty good and I woke up super stiff and unable to walk.  My right leg was about 1 1/2 times the size of my left one.  I went to the gym this morning anyway and brought my new friend Matt up there with me.  After the lesson Eddie started doing belt promotions.  I had gone to the locker room to change as I wasn't able to roll live due to my leg being all jacked up.  My buddy Einstein said to come back out to the mat because he thought he was getting promoted and wanted me to hold the camera to take his picture.  As it turns out, it wasn't Einstein who was getting the promotion.

Eddie handed over my brown belt this morning after 3 years and three months of my dedication to the 10th planet system.  I felt a great sense of accomplishment but also felt that I wasn't ready to be a brown belt.  As I sat back and thought about it as the day progressed I sort of wrapped my mind around it and realized that I really had earned it.  It was the fastest promotion to Brown Belt in the history of the 10th Planet system (to the best of my knowledge).  I definitely owe my teamates a big thank you for all the work they have all done with me on my path.  I have been very lucky to be surrounded by great people along the way and have a great family behind me that has supported me in every way.

Be on the lookout because the journey is nowhere near over, this is just the begining. 

"We Takin' Ova!"

Here is an interview I did for www.fightlikeachampion.com

I hope you like it

What's your training schedule leading up to competition (peaking & pulling back)?

I don't really have a set training schedule. I just listen to my body and do what feels right. I always get at least four striking sessions a week, two wrestling sessions, four grappling sessions, and two conditioning sessions. I add in extra runs to keep my weight down and work on whatever feels like it needs work. I don't really tend to tapper off too much because I'm usually cutting a little bit of weight and need to keep my calorie expenditure up to keep the furnace going.

What is your diet philosophy during training and off training?

I always try to eat pretty clean. In general, if you can't hunt it down or pull it out of the ground I don't eat it. I eat a lot of oatmeal, broccoli and chicken. My weakness is that I have a big sweet tooth though and have been known to polish off a few pints of ice cream during my typical week but I definitely cut out the ice cream as the fight gets closer. I usually start my day off with some fresh vegetable juice that I make at home from carrots, celery, beets, tomatoes, cucumber, ginger, and sweet peppers. I drink this after my morning run and mix it with some protein powder. I feel this starts my day off right with a lot of vitamins and nutrients. I eat oatmeal with almonds and blueberries two hours before my hard training session and finish the day with broccoli, chicken and rice.

How do you offset fear or nervousness before competition?

I started competing in wrestling when I was five so I think I have pretty much overcome most of my nervousness. I really focus on performing to the best of my ability rather than focusing on a result. I sort of take winning and losing out of the equation and this really takes all the pressure off so I am able to just relax and have fun out there. I think all the hard work and stress is in the training and that the fight should just be a fun time to show off all the hard work I have put in.

Do you believe being first to attack in the fight or wait to get in rhythm? Why?

It really depends on the fight. I usually watch my opponents previous fights and come up with a specific game plan for each fight. I have found that when I bring the fight to my opponent and force them to deal with my offense rather than the other way around I usually am more successful. I am trying to become a fighter capable of avoiding my opponents attacks and launching a perfectly timed counter offense a la Anderson Silva. Unfortunately my striking isn't at that level yet so I just try and push the pace and outwork my opponents. I am very durable and have tremendous cardio so no matter how much damage I take early in the fight I gain the upper hand as the fight progresses.

How do you adjust your game plan during your fights?

I have a hard time changing my game plan mid squabble. The one thing that helps is getting hurt or rocked. This usually turns on the autopilot and thankfully I have pretty good instincts. I just force my opponents to fight my fight by pressing forward and throwing everything I have at them. If I had to back off in a fight I am not sure if I would be able to. I go out there with the intention of overwhelming and destroying my opponent and fighting in a more passive manner, as Machida often does, does not interest me.

How do you develop mental strength to perform your best?

I developed my mental toughness growing up with my father. He was a wrestling coach and I always really looked up to him. He taught me to always try and out work everyone. It didn't matter what the task was, I was taught to always push my self farther and harder than I thought possible. If I was told to go out for firewood, I would always try to impress him with how many logs I could carry back to the house in one load. Or if it was doing chin ups, I would always strive to do one more than I had the day before. In practice when everyone did 20 push ups I did 21. At first it was because I knew he was watching and I wanted to impress him, but it eventually just became a habit. In workouts we would do what we called adversity training. For example we would be doing situations in practice and he would say that I was down by a point. I would get the escape to tie it and then the takedown to win before the time would run out. I would think the match was over but then he would say something like, "Oh, no! There's some confusion at the table and it looks like the Russian judge is indicating the takedown came after the whistle. We are in sudden death overtime." Then I would have to start on my feet with a fresh opponent and I would have to wrestle 30 second matches with fresh guys until I got the takedown. He taught me to always prepare for the worst and to make sure your training is tougher than your competition.

How do you remain motivated?

I am motivated by an internal angst and uneasiness that doesn't allow me to remain satisfied with anything. I need a constant challenge or I become bored. I fear mediocrity and am unhappy unless I am being challenged. Because of these feelings it is easy to remain motivated. The idea that someone else thinks they can beat me eats at me and drives me to prove them wrong. As long as I feel that there is a good chance my opponent will beat me, I am extremely motivated by my own fears and self doubt. I train hard to be sure that I am outworking my opponent and to give my self the confidence to stand in the cage and face my fears. I remember being almost paralyzed by fear when I knew that there was a bully waiting to fight me after school. I was so scared before hand but felt so good and such a sense of accomplishment after I choked the asshole out that I vowed I would never allow my fears to dictate my behavior. Looking at my profession, I guess that's more than a little ironic.

How do you build your strategy prior to your fights and adjust during your fights?

I watch tape with my trainer and look for weaknesses in my opponent but mainly I just rely on my strengths and ability to push the pace and bring the fight where I want it. I don't adjust much in the cage I just push forward and force my opponent to deal with my game.

LIST QUESTIONS

Favorites:

5 favorite fighters to watch Why?
Wanderlie Silva, Anderson Silva, Fedor, Shinya Aoki, Uriah Faber

Favorite products that you use (food, supplements, equipment, clothing, etc.)
AstroGlide

Favorite songs to train to:
House music and anything by Eminem

Physical:

Most common training mistakes you see:
Stopping 'cause it hurts

Most common mistakes you see with people during a fight:
Stopping 'cause it hurts

Favorite technique combinations:
Short sonic boom to suplex

Most important drills or exercises:
Adversity Training

Mental:

Most important things to remember during the fight when you're WINNNG:
Hands up, chin down, and keep working

Most important things to DO during the fight when you're LOSING:
Keep your hands up, your chin down and work harder.

What are ways to mentally prepare prior to your match?
Get warm, stretch, and imagine having the most fun you've ever had. I ride through my favorite snowboard trail in my head until I can visualize landing every trick and making every turn perfectly. This helps me focus and relax without the stress of thinking about the fight.

Well, here I am. Another fight in the books, another victory, another step closer to my goal. I am sitting here at my computer trying to collect my thoughts and put together the events of the past few weeks. Where to begin?

I was offered a fight a few weeks ago that I thought was going to be on the ELite XC Heat card in Florida. As it turns out, I was really offered a fight on the Sho XC card in Chicago. I had not yet been cleared to fight since breaking my jaw so I turned the fight down after my doctor told me I shouldn't step into the cage until November at the earliest.

Fast forward to Saturday's wrestling class back in september. While teaching class I shoot in on King Gabriel, a huge kick boxer who lands a solid knee to my jaw, knocking it out of joint but the fracture held. After taking that shot, I figured "fuck it," I can fight. I was sure no lightweight was gonna land anything on me with near that much power so I might as well get back to work and start paying off my mounting credit card debt.

Wednesday comes and I show up to teach class at Legends only to find a media circus at the gym. The place is packed with people doing press for the Elite XC Heat card and everyone is there. Kimbo and Gina are the center of attention as they workout and shoot interviews to hype the upcoming event. I am forced to move my class into the boxing ring do to all the people using the mats.

Jeremy Lappen and Skala are there and stop by the ring to watch my training. I ask them if I'm still able to fight on the card in Chicago, now that I am convinced that my jaw will hold up. They are surprised that I am ready to fight but I explain that the athletic commission's original suspension is up on September 21st. Unfortunately, I am informed that that ship has sailed but that they will keep me in mind for whatever opens up.

Six days go by and I am rolling in Eddie's class on Tuesday morning when the Kyle, the desk guy comes onto the mat and tells me that I have a phone call at the front desk. "Take a message bro" I tell him as I am obviously busy.

"It's Chris and he says it can't wait," he tells me.

"Fuck!" I am already in a bad mood after not being able to fight for so long and the anxiety is getting to me. The last thing I need is my workout interrupted for some bullshit but I pick up the phone and Chris starts talking.

"Dude, I know I have made some mistakes in the past and that there was some confusion about the CBS card but I think you are gonna be real happy." I doubt it I think to myself. "I got you a fight on the CBS card with Edson Berto. Do you want it?"

"Fuck bro, I don't know. I don't know anything about this guy, let me check him out and get back to you," I tell him.

"No can do bro, they need an answer right now."

A thousand things are rushing through my head. Am I ready to fight? Will my jaw hold up? Am I in good enough shape? Who is this guy? Will I have time to prepare? Will the fight air on TV? Does my contract change?

"Fuck!", I yell "I can't decide right now . . . . Fuck it. Sure, tell them I'll fight him."

I hang up the phone and rush back to the mat with my heart racing. What did I just agree to? Who is this guy? Did Chris even think about whether it was a good fight for me or did he just throw me to the wolves because he wanted to go to Miami?

At this point I figured it didn't really matter. I had agreed to take the fight so it was time to get cracking. I had been training hard and all that was left to do was to get mentally ready. For me the mental aspect of the fight is the most challenging and the only aspect that really matters. I know personally that when my head is in the right place no one can beat me. I mean they may have more points on the judges cards when the time runs out, but no one is going to stop me in the cage.

I was plagued with doubt and uncertainty heading into the final week of my training. As it often does, the Universe stepped in to show me that this was something I needed to overcome.

It was Wednesday morning when I woke up and started getting ready to head out for a run. The phone rang, and it was Gary Stuber, a friend and training partner. He had read my post on myspace about fighting Edson Berto and wanted to tell me that it scared him. He didn't think it was a good fight for me and was so distraught that he had called one of his best friends, UFC fighter Spencer Fischer, and asked him what to do. Spencer told him that it was his duty as my friend to let me know if he thought I was taking a bad fight.

When I got the phone call, he told me that Berto was far too dangerous on his feet and that in his opinion he was probably the most dangerous well rounded striker in the division. He felt that his stand up was going to be too much for me to handle and that his wrestling was good enough to force me to stand with him. He stressed that I was still at a point in my career where I had options and that I was able to choose who I fought. He said that Spencer had reached a point where he had to fight whoever they put in front of him and had dropped a few close decisions and was now fighting untelevised on the undercard. He told me that he was going to call Chris and tell him the same thing, but he felt it was his obligation to let me know he felt I was getting myself into a bad situation and should choose someone else for my first fight back.

Well, like I said before, the mental aspect of the fight is the most important and the hardest to master and he had just thrown a major wrench into my mental mechanism.

I was freaking out.

I had already made up my mind that I was fighting and I had already committed to the fight. I am not one to back out of a fight once I have committed, even if I'm injured I step into the cage and go to work. I have never been one to back down on the street and I sure as fuck wasn't about to start backing down now. That being said, my head was a mess.

I was stomping around my apartment screaming and throwing shit, "Fuck! Why did you call me! What am I doing?"

Then I slowly started to get my shit together. Who am I? I'm a mother fucking fighter! This is who I am! This is what I do! I fight! Fuck the doubters, fuck the haters, fuck everybody! You didn't make me, you can't break me, you don't have what I have, you don't know me, you don't know what I'm capable of! I am a warrior, this is who I am! The blood that flows through my veins is the blood of a champion and if it needs to be spilled, then let it flow. I would rather live one day as a champion than a lifetime as a coward! I laced up my shoes and started running.

I was still all fucked up mentally after my run and after practice. I fought well in sparring but didn't feel I was fighting to my potential. One of my healers, Dr. Peter Goldman, runs a metaphysical study group on Wednesday nights so after practice I showered up and drove to his office.

The discussion that day was about courage. Over the course of the discussion I was able to tap into my courage and get over my fear. I really just had to remember that I am not my body. I am a spirit who has a body and that whatever happens to that body has no effect on my spirit. I told Dr. Goldman about the phone call and he told me that it was simply the Universe mirroring my own fear and self doubt that I had been projecting and that by manifesting itself in the form of the phone call it had forced me to confront my own feelings and begin to deal with them. I felt much better when I left his office that night.

I pushed hard through the remainder of my workouts at Legends and through the rest of my runs to bring my weight down. My friend, Frank "Recking Ball" Barca, was in town from Australia and was staying with me. He helped me with my stand up and helped lighten the mood when I got to intense and reminded me that this is what I love to do and that I have the best job in the world as well as the best people around me.

As the day to leave for Florida approached, I went to see Dr. Bernie Soon, another member of my support team, who did some great healing work on my body and spirit and allowed me to work through the trauma that I suffered breaking my jaw in my last fight. Once I had worked through the fear that I had internalized during that injury, I felt reborn and felt my lungs and heart really open up. After working with Bernie I was 100% sure I would perform at my peak in the cage on Oct 4th. Check out her website here (www.emdrnow.com) and tell her I sent you, maybe she'll cut me a break on the fee ;)

Chris picked me up for the flight on Wednesday morning and in typical fashion we missed the plane. I had brought all carryon luggage but when his bag needed to be checked they bumped us from the flight. It wasn't a big deal and as tired as I was I just slept in the terminal. When we were getting ready to board the next flight I saw a couple guys who looked familiar in line for the same flight. It took me a second but I soon realized that it was Mask and Scrape from the Tapout crew. I almost didn't recognize them since it was the first time I had ever seen them "out of costume." I said hello and we chatted for a minute. I was kinda apprehensive to say hello since one of my managerial team, Scott "Einstein" Epstien, had informed me that they would not be sponsoring me for this fight. This had come as quite a shock because we had a good relationship and I haven't lost a fight since they had agreed to sponsor me last year.

When we started talking the guys asked me who I was representing for the fight and I told them that I had hoped it was still them but currently I was just rocking Melee Fight Gear (www.meleefightgear.com). The Tapout guys seemed shocked to hear that their cube monkey back at corporate hadn't hooked me up. They said not to worry and that they had my back. We shook hands and I rolled to the john to take a leak.

Before I even got my cock back in my pants, my blackberry was blowing up. It was Einstein letting me know that Tapout had come through at the last minute and that they were gonna throw some heavy paper my way. Nice! I had just doubled the amount of money I was gonna make! Glad I recognized those guys, it seemed like everything was falling into place.

With the extra money from Tapout I was able to fly the rest of my team to Florida to work my corner so I called Kelly Carter (www.titleshottraining.com) and Einstein and told them to pack their bags.

I got to the hotel, checked in, and checked my weight. Everything was right where it needed to be so I just grabbed my book and jumped in bed to relax. The next day I would go for a long slow run in the morning to help get my weight down and chill by the pool. After my run I saw Christiani "Cyborg" Santos swimming in the pool and was real glad I wasn't fighting her. That girl is a beast. Her head was as big as Tito's and her legs were thicker than mine. I have no idea how she makes 140 but she looked huge. That night my weight was nice and low, I was only 6 lb. over, so I went out to sushi with my trainer Chris Reilly. He enjoyed some low grade sushi and a saki bomb while I had green tea and a few pieces of sashimi. I know raw fish before a fight may be risky to some, but I eat sashimi all the time and the main thing is to stay consistent so thats what I had.

I woke up the day of weigh-ins 5 lb. over so I suited up and headed over to the 24 hour fitness with Chris to cut the weight. We did three 5 min rounds of some real light sparring type drills to get my sweat going. Then I did three 5 min rounds on the bike, stepper, and treadmill. After that I hit the sauna to stretch out and drop the last little bit. Kelly Kobold, the girl who was fighting Gina Carano, was in there with me cutting her weight as well. Some douche was freaking out and bitching to Chris who was posted up outside the sauna that there was a girl in the locker room. I thought that was pretty gay and wished he had said some shit to her face so she could have knocked his bitch ass out. Dude, a girl in the boys locker room as a dream come true, what a weirdo.

The weight came off real easy and I headed back to the hotel to clean up and wait for the shuttle to the weigh-in.

Here's Chris Reilly chillin' in the lobby before catching a ride to the weigh-ins.



At the weigh-in I ran into my friend and former IFL Anaconda's teamate, Benji Radach. It was great seeing him and made me feel real comfortable. Sure it was my biggest fight to date, but here I was with an old friend with whom I had gone into battle before. Benji was fighting Ninja Rua and I was happy thinking about us both getting upset victories the next night.



I stepped onto the scale after witnessing Jake Shields and Paul Daley getting into in backstage and Kimbo shoving Shamrock. I was kinda pissed off and disappointed in their antics. I know they are just trying to hype up their fights but I feel like it cheapens the sport and paints the fighters in a negative light. And speaking of negative, I'm just going to ignore Gina's weight issues.



Berto and I made weight and we squared off for the pictures. I remember looking into his eyes and feeling like a great weight was weighing him down and that he had lost his love of the battle. If you don't love the battle, in the cage with me is the wrong place to be.
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After the weigh-in, Chris and I went and ate with Scotty Nelson and Scott Berri (spelling?). When we got back to the hotel, the Elite XC top brass had been waiting for us and wanted to take us out to eat again. After dieting for weeks, I was down. We jumped into a van and headed downtown to some fancy steak house. I had the salmon and it was delightful. I also ate a number of tasty desserts, cheese cakes, creme brule, chocolate moos, etc they were all served on little lollypop things on a tree at the table. Very nice ;)

After a good nights rest, I had some oatmeal and coffee and met up with Kelly Carter of www.titleshottraining.com in my hotel room where he stretched me out and performed a lifeline on me. Lifeline is a diagnostic and treatment program designed to balance the body, mind, and spirit. After the session I went back to sleep and rested until it was time to leave for the arena.

Once in the dressing room, my team and I took over the back portion of the room by the showers and set up shop. Kelly broke out his massage table, Chris set up to tape my hands, and Einstein told fart jokes.







Once my hands where taped, I started some light sparring with Chris in the shower room.



I hit the kick pads for a little bit and remember looking down at my hands and feeling almost scared at how powerful I felt. I knew this was gonna be one hell of a fight.



After my warm up I just cleared my mind and focused on how blessed I was to be able to do what I love. I got the call and started my walk to the cage. I knew I had done everything in my power to prepare and that I had good people around me. When I got into the arena they told me there was a ten minute break before my fight and said I could go back to the dressing room. I told them I would rather stay and enjoy the moment and the anticipation. I was positioned just behind the curtain and could see the whole arena filled with people. I was loving it.

I just chilled out and danced to the music playing over the loudspeakers and allowed the moment to sink in. I remembered how it felt to compete in the state finals in front of 17,000 people and how I had blocked it all out so that I could just focus on the match. This time I wanted to really enjoy the energy of the crowd and bask in it. Standing there with my friends, getting ready to battle, dancing to M.I.A. I felt like the luckiest man alive.

Here are the rest of the pictures from the fight. I'll let them speak for themselves until I get the video. I don't really remember the fight anyway. I do know I had a real nice time.










































































After the fight I headed out to celebrate with my friends. We partied all over Miami with a crazy crew of fighters, agents, talent, and hangers-on. Tito was there along with just about anybody who's anybody in MMA. It was a blast. It was my first fight where I didn't drink afterwards and I was happy to be so lucid and able to really enjoy and remember everything.

The night grew into morning and the chance of making our flight grew slimmer still. I managed to round up the crew and break for the hotel but as luck would have it, we missed the flight yet again. I was exhausted and ready to sleep in the airport as long as it took to get on a flight but Chris had other plans. After our second standby flight left without us he had had enough and informed me that it was the universe telling us to enjoy the victory. Before I knew it we were in a cab on our way to The Gansevoort in south beach. Our luggage and all our clothes, however, were well on their way to Los Angeles.

Chilling poolside I felt so good, everything had gone perfect. I was finally making a name for myself and I knew that I had gotten some people's attention with my performance. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the Miami sun.



Needless to say I'm a fucking head case. For me, being mentally centered is the single most important thing for me going into a fight. People always ask me if I'm scared or if I think I will win or after the fact, if I thought I had a chance. To put it simply, yea I always think I'm going to win. In fact, I always know I am going to win. If I don't fully believe with every fiber of my being that I will win the fight, then I have no business stepping into the cage. Secondly, when you don't look at a fighting in terms of winning and losing it makes this much easier. For me, I feel I have already won the fight if I can bare my soul and give my all in the cage. If I am able to fully commit my spirit to the fight then I have already won.

Back when I was just a wrestler I always said that the worst thing about sport was that you didn't die when you lost. I hated that you could be behind on points when the time ran out and that the match was over. I hated that you could get pinned and still have a ton of fight left in you but that it was over. Nothing is worse than having someone else tell you when you have lost. Me? I've never lost. I've just been a little behind on the cards when the time ran out. The best thing about the fight game to me is that you are given pretty much every opportunity to take the fight as far as you want. When fights are 15 minutes or even 25 minutes long you have plenty of time to find out who is the better man. Outside of the knockout, which thankfully, I have never experienced, you are given the opportunity to leave it all in the cage. If you are caught in an arm bar, you have the option to tap out or let him gas out bending it the wrong way and then use it to beat him senseless. I think that submission are basically just a universally recognized way to give the man a way out. No one is going to call you a pussy for tapping out in an arm bar or to a choke but the reality is, if you still want to fight, you won't tap. If your body shuts off thats one thing, but giving up is another. I will never give up. Fuck that. Knock me out, choke me out, but get me to tell you that you're the better man? Fuck that.

That's the best fucking thing about MMA is that it allows everyone to see exactly what you are made of. Some people don't know what they are made of and fighting is a way of showing them that.

I think I fight to overcome my fear that I'm ordinary.

There is nothing worse than being ordinary, no fate worse that mediocrity.

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, fabulous, gorgeous, talented? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You're playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that's within us. It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we automatically give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others."

I am truly blessed to be able to do what I do. I mean, how many people can say that they have given their all to anything? I mean, really gave everything? You know why people don't give their all to anything? Because nothing hurts more than giving everything. This is why I love my job because I am able to pour every ounce of my being into one task and to pursue one goal with all my heart. Just by committing myself fully to the achievement of a singular goal, I have already won the battle of the spirit.

I don't view the world in a linear manner. I believe that my spirit is eternal and everlasting and that only my physical body or shell is temporary. I believe that I have already fought and died thousands of times. I know that I will fight for eternity and each individual event is but a ripple in the river of my existence. There is no pain that I have not felt and survived and no death that I have not already died so there is nothing to fear.

I happen to like my physical body this time around because I have been blessed with a nice one strong athletic one, at least that's what the girls say ;). However, the reality is that it is nothing more than a temporary home for my spirit and that it will eventually break down and return to the earth.


Why is it that we fear we are great? Why do people fear success more than they fear failure? Is it because once the goal has been achieved we are robbed of our sense of purpose? Who are we without a challenge? Who are we without a way to measure ourselves? Why is it that without a measuring stick against which to judge ourselves that we feel lost? Are we trying to play god? Is our desire to judge so great that without a means of determining a winner and a loser, a sinner and a saint, that we lose our lust for life? Why is it that those who are given everything, value nothing?

Is struggle the meaning of our existence? Is it only by walking through the fire that we truly know ourselves?

These are just a few of the questions that raced through my mind once I finally got back to LA and had some time by myself to decompress and look back on everything. I always get a little down after a fight but like I said, I have the best job in the world. I took a week off from training and have since gotten back in the gym. I am working very hard to continue my winning ways and my team at Legends has really come together in the weeks since my fight.

Thanks to all my sponsors and teammates for making this possible. I love you guys. And to Favi, I couldn't do it without you. And to Chris, this is just the beginning of a beautiful journey, thanks for sharing your secrets.