Here is an interview I did for www.fightlikeachampion.com

I hope you like it

What's your training schedule leading up to competition (peaking & pulling back)?

I don't really have a set training schedule. I just listen to my body and do what feels right. I always get at least four striking sessions a week, two wrestling sessions, four grappling sessions, and two conditioning sessions. I add in extra runs to keep my weight down and work on whatever feels like it needs work. I don't really tend to tapper off too much because I'm usually cutting a little bit of weight and need to keep my calorie expenditure up to keep the furnace going.

What is your diet philosophy during training and off training?

I always try to eat pretty clean. In general, if you can't hunt it down or pull it out of the ground I don't eat it. I eat a lot of oatmeal, broccoli and chicken. My weakness is that I have a big sweet tooth though and have been known to polish off a few pints of ice cream during my typical week but I definitely cut out the ice cream as the fight gets closer. I usually start my day off with some fresh vegetable juice that I make at home from carrots, celery, beets, tomatoes, cucumber, ginger, and sweet peppers. I drink this after my morning run and mix it with some protein powder. I feel this starts my day off right with a lot of vitamins and nutrients. I eat oatmeal with almonds and blueberries two hours before my hard training session and finish the day with broccoli, chicken and rice.

How do you offset fear or nervousness before competition?

I started competing in wrestling when I was five so I think I have pretty much overcome most of my nervousness. I really focus on performing to the best of my ability rather than focusing on a result. I sort of take winning and losing out of the equation and this really takes all the pressure off so I am able to just relax and have fun out there. I think all the hard work and stress is in the training and that the fight should just be a fun time to show off all the hard work I have put in.

Do you believe being first to attack in the fight or wait to get in rhythm? Why?

It really depends on the fight. I usually watch my opponents previous fights and come up with a specific game plan for each fight. I have found that when I bring the fight to my opponent and force them to deal with my offense rather than the other way around I usually am more successful. I am trying to become a fighter capable of avoiding my opponents attacks and launching a perfectly timed counter offense a la Anderson Silva. Unfortunately my striking isn't at that level yet so I just try and push the pace and outwork my opponents. I am very durable and have tremendous cardio so no matter how much damage I take early in the fight I gain the upper hand as the fight progresses.

How do you adjust your game plan during your fights?

I have a hard time changing my game plan mid squabble. The one thing that helps is getting hurt or rocked. This usually turns on the autopilot and thankfully I have pretty good instincts. I just force my opponents to fight my fight by pressing forward and throwing everything I have at them. If I had to back off in a fight I am not sure if I would be able to. I go out there with the intention of overwhelming and destroying my opponent and fighting in a more passive manner, as Machida often does, does not interest me.

How do you develop mental strength to perform your best?

I developed my mental toughness growing up with my father. He was a wrestling coach and I always really looked up to him. He taught me to always try and out work everyone. It didn't matter what the task was, I was taught to always push my self farther and harder than I thought possible. If I was told to go out for firewood, I would always try to impress him with how many logs I could carry back to the house in one load. Or if it was doing chin ups, I would always strive to do one more than I had the day before. In practice when everyone did 20 push ups I did 21. At first it was because I knew he was watching and I wanted to impress him, but it eventually just became a habit. In workouts we would do what we called adversity training. For example we would be doing situations in practice and he would say that I was down by a point. I would get the escape to tie it and then the takedown to win before the time would run out. I would think the match was over but then he would say something like, "Oh, no! There's some confusion at the table and it looks like the Russian judge is indicating the takedown came after the whistle. We are in sudden death overtime." Then I would have to start on my feet with a fresh opponent and I would have to wrestle 30 second matches with fresh guys until I got the takedown. He taught me to always prepare for the worst and to make sure your training is tougher than your competition.

How do you remain motivated?

I am motivated by an internal angst and uneasiness that doesn't allow me to remain satisfied with anything. I need a constant challenge or I become bored. I fear mediocrity and am unhappy unless I am being challenged. Because of these feelings it is easy to remain motivated. The idea that someone else thinks they can beat me eats at me and drives me to prove them wrong. As long as I feel that there is a good chance my opponent will beat me, I am extremely motivated by my own fears and self doubt. I train hard to be sure that I am outworking my opponent and to give my self the confidence to stand in the cage and face my fears. I remember being almost paralyzed by fear when I knew that there was a bully waiting to fight me after school. I was so scared before hand but felt so good and such a sense of accomplishment after I choked the asshole out that I vowed I would never allow my fears to dictate my behavior. Looking at my profession, I guess that's more than a little ironic.

How do you build your strategy prior to your fights and adjust during your fights?

I watch tape with my trainer and look for weaknesses in my opponent but mainly I just rely on my strengths and ability to push the pace and bring the fight where I want it. I don't adjust much in the cage I just push forward and force my opponent to deal with my game.

LIST QUESTIONS

Favorites:

5 favorite fighters to watch Why?
Wanderlie Silva, Anderson Silva, Fedor, Shinya Aoki, Uriah Faber

Favorite products that you use (food, supplements, equipment, clothing, etc.)
AstroGlide

Favorite songs to train to:
House music and anything by Eminem

Physical:

Most common training mistakes you see:
Stopping 'cause it hurts

Most common mistakes you see with people during a fight:
Stopping 'cause it hurts

Favorite technique combinations:
Short sonic boom to suplex

Most important drills or exercises:
Adversity Training

Mental:

Most important things to remember during the fight when you're WINNNG:
Hands up, chin down, and keep working

Most important things to DO during the fight when you're LOSING:
Keep your hands up, your chin down and work harder.

What are ways to mentally prepare prior to your match?
Get warm, stretch, and imagine having the most fun you've ever had. I ride through my favorite snowboard trail in my head until I can visualize landing every trick and making every turn perfectly. This helps me focus and relax without the stress of thinking about the fight.

Well, here I am. Another fight in the books, another victory, another step closer to my goal. I am sitting here at my computer trying to collect my thoughts and put together the events of the past few weeks. Where to begin?

I was offered a fight a few weeks ago that I thought was going to be on the ELite XC Heat card in Florida. As it turns out, I was really offered a fight on the Sho XC card in Chicago. I had not yet been cleared to fight since breaking my jaw so I turned the fight down after my doctor told me I shouldn't step into the cage until November at the earliest.

Fast forward to Saturday's wrestling class back in september. While teaching class I shoot in on King Gabriel, a huge kick boxer who lands a solid knee to my jaw, knocking it out of joint but the fracture held. After taking that shot, I figured "fuck it," I can fight. I was sure no lightweight was gonna land anything on me with near that much power so I might as well get back to work and start paying off my mounting credit card debt.

Wednesday comes and I show up to teach class at Legends only to find a media circus at the gym. The place is packed with people doing press for the Elite XC Heat card and everyone is there. Kimbo and Gina are the center of attention as they workout and shoot interviews to hype the upcoming event. I am forced to move my class into the boxing ring do to all the people using the mats.

Jeremy Lappen and Skala are there and stop by the ring to watch my training. I ask them if I'm still able to fight on the card in Chicago, now that I am convinced that my jaw will hold up. They are surprised that I am ready to fight but I explain that the athletic commission's original suspension is up on September 21st. Unfortunately, I am informed that that ship has sailed but that they will keep me in mind for whatever opens up.

Six days go by and I am rolling in Eddie's class on Tuesday morning when the Kyle, the desk guy comes onto the mat and tells me that I have a phone call at the front desk. "Take a message bro" I tell him as I am obviously busy.

"It's Chris and he says it can't wait," he tells me.

"Fuck!" I am already in a bad mood after not being able to fight for so long and the anxiety is getting to me. The last thing I need is my workout interrupted for some bullshit but I pick up the phone and Chris starts talking.

"Dude, I know I have made some mistakes in the past and that there was some confusion about the CBS card but I think you are gonna be real happy." I doubt it I think to myself. "I got you a fight on the CBS card with Edson Berto. Do you want it?"

"Fuck bro, I don't know. I don't know anything about this guy, let me check him out and get back to you," I tell him.

"No can do bro, they need an answer right now."

A thousand things are rushing through my head. Am I ready to fight? Will my jaw hold up? Am I in good enough shape? Who is this guy? Will I have time to prepare? Will the fight air on TV? Does my contract change?

"Fuck!", I yell "I can't decide right now . . . . Fuck it. Sure, tell them I'll fight him."

I hang up the phone and rush back to the mat with my heart racing. What did I just agree to? Who is this guy? Did Chris even think about whether it was a good fight for me or did he just throw me to the wolves because he wanted to go to Miami?

At this point I figured it didn't really matter. I had agreed to take the fight so it was time to get cracking. I had been training hard and all that was left to do was to get mentally ready. For me the mental aspect of the fight is the most challenging and the only aspect that really matters. I know personally that when my head is in the right place no one can beat me. I mean they may have more points on the judges cards when the time runs out, but no one is going to stop me in the cage.

I was plagued with doubt and uncertainty heading into the final week of my training. As it often does, the Universe stepped in to show me that this was something I needed to overcome.

It was Wednesday morning when I woke up and started getting ready to head out for a run. The phone rang, and it was Gary Stuber, a friend and training partner. He had read my post on myspace about fighting Edson Berto and wanted to tell me that it scared him. He didn't think it was a good fight for me and was so distraught that he had called one of his best friends, UFC fighter Spencer Fischer, and asked him what to do. Spencer told him that it was his duty as my friend to let me know if he thought I was taking a bad fight.

When I got the phone call, he told me that Berto was far too dangerous on his feet and that in his opinion he was probably the most dangerous well rounded striker in the division. He felt that his stand up was going to be too much for me to handle and that his wrestling was good enough to force me to stand with him. He stressed that I was still at a point in my career where I had options and that I was able to choose who I fought. He said that Spencer had reached a point where he had to fight whoever they put in front of him and had dropped a few close decisions and was now fighting untelevised on the undercard. He told me that he was going to call Chris and tell him the same thing, but he felt it was his obligation to let me know he felt I was getting myself into a bad situation and should choose someone else for my first fight back.

Well, like I said before, the mental aspect of the fight is the most important and the hardest to master and he had just thrown a major wrench into my mental mechanism.

I was freaking out.

I had already made up my mind that I was fighting and I had already committed to the fight. I am not one to back out of a fight once I have committed, even if I'm injured I step into the cage and go to work. I have never been one to back down on the street and I sure as fuck wasn't about to start backing down now. That being said, my head was a mess.

I was stomping around my apartment screaming and throwing shit, "Fuck! Why did you call me! What am I doing?"

Then I slowly started to get my shit together. Who am I? I'm a mother fucking fighter! This is who I am! This is what I do! I fight! Fuck the doubters, fuck the haters, fuck everybody! You didn't make me, you can't break me, you don't have what I have, you don't know me, you don't know what I'm capable of! I am a warrior, this is who I am! The blood that flows through my veins is the blood of a champion and if it needs to be spilled, then let it flow. I would rather live one day as a champion than a lifetime as a coward! I laced up my shoes and started running.

I was still all fucked up mentally after my run and after practice. I fought well in sparring but didn't feel I was fighting to my potential. One of my healers, Dr. Peter Goldman, runs a metaphysical study group on Wednesday nights so after practice I showered up and drove to his office.

The discussion that day was about courage. Over the course of the discussion I was able to tap into my courage and get over my fear. I really just had to remember that I am not my body. I am a spirit who has a body and that whatever happens to that body has no effect on my spirit. I told Dr. Goldman about the phone call and he told me that it was simply the Universe mirroring my own fear and self doubt that I had been projecting and that by manifesting itself in the form of the phone call it had forced me to confront my own feelings and begin to deal with them. I felt much better when I left his office that night.

I pushed hard through the remainder of my workouts at Legends and through the rest of my runs to bring my weight down. My friend, Frank "Recking Ball" Barca, was in town from Australia and was staying with me. He helped me with my stand up and helped lighten the mood when I got to intense and reminded me that this is what I love to do and that I have the best job in the world as well as the best people around me.

As the day to leave for Florida approached, I went to see Dr. Bernie Soon, another member of my support team, who did some great healing work on my body and spirit and allowed me to work through the trauma that I suffered breaking my jaw in my last fight. Once I had worked through the fear that I had internalized during that injury, I felt reborn and felt my lungs and heart really open up. After working with Bernie I was 100% sure I would perform at my peak in the cage on Oct 4th. Check out her website here (www.emdrnow.com) and tell her I sent you, maybe she'll cut me a break on the fee ;)

Chris picked me up for the flight on Wednesday morning and in typical fashion we missed the plane. I had brought all carryon luggage but when his bag needed to be checked they bumped us from the flight. It wasn't a big deal and as tired as I was I just slept in the terminal. When we were getting ready to board the next flight I saw a couple guys who looked familiar in line for the same flight. It took me a second but I soon realized that it was Mask and Scrape from the Tapout crew. I almost didn't recognize them since it was the first time I had ever seen them "out of costume." I said hello and we chatted for a minute. I was kinda apprehensive to say hello since one of my managerial team, Scott "Einstein" Epstien, had informed me that they would not be sponsoring me for this fight. This had come as quite a shock because we had a good relationship and I haven't lost a fight since they had agreed to sponsor me last year.

When we started talking the guys asked me who I was representing for the fight and I told them that I had hoped it was still them but currently I was just rocking Melee Fight Gear (www.meleefightgear.com). The Tapout guys seemed shocked to hear that their cube monkey back at corporate hadn't hooked me up. They said not to worry and that they had my back. We shook hands and I rolled to the john to take a leak.

Before I even got my cock back in my pants, my blackberry was blowing up. It was Einstein letting me know that Tapout had come through at the last minute and that they were gonna throw some heavy paper my way. Nice! I had just doubled the amount of money I was gonna make! Glad I recognized those guys, it seemed like everything was falling into place.

With the extra money from Tapout I was able to fly the rest of my team to Florida to work my corner so I called Kelly Carter (www.titleshottraining.com) and Einstein and told them to pack their bags.

I got to the hotel, checked in, and checked my weight. Everything was right where it needed to be so I just grabbed my book and jumped in bed to relax. The next day I would go for a long slow run in the morning to help get my weight down and chill by the pool. After my run I saw Christiani "Cyborg" Santos swimming in the pool and was real glad I wasn't fighting her. That girl is a beast. Her head was as big as Tito's and her legs were thicker than mine. I have no idea how she makes 140 but she looked huge. That night my weight was nice and low, I was only 6 lb. over, so I went out to sushi with my trainer Chris Reilly. He enjoyed some low grade sushi and a saki bomb while I had green tea and a few pieces of sashimi. I know raw fish before a fight may be risky to some, but I eat sashimi all the time and the main thing is to stay consistent so thats what I had.

I woke up the day of weigh-ins 5 lb. over so I suited up and headed over to the 24 hour fitness with Chris to cut the weight. We did three 5 min rounds of some real light sparring type drills to get my sweat going. Then I did three 5 min rounds on the bike, stepper, and treadmill. After that I hit the sauna to stretch out and drop the last little bit. Kelly Kobold, the girl who was fighting Gina Carano, was in there with me cutting her weight as well. Some douche was freaking out and bitching to Chris who was posted up outside the sauna that there was a girl in the locker room. I thought that was pretty gay and wished he had said some shit to her face so she could have knocked his bitch ass out. Dude, a girl in the boys locker room as a dream come true, what a weirdo.

The weight came off real easy and I headed back to the hotel to clean up and wait for the shuttle to the weigh-in.

Here's Chris Reilly chillin' in the lobby before catching a ride to the weigh-ins.



At the weigh-in I ran into my friend and former IFL Anaconda's teamate, Benji Radach. It was great seeing him and made me feel real comfortable. Sure it was my biggest fight to date, but here I was with an old friend with whom I had gone into battle before. Benji was fighting Ninja Rua and I was happy thinking about us both getting upset victories the next night.



I stepped onto the scale after witnessing Jake Shields and Paul Daley getting into in backstage and Kimbo shoving Shamrock. I was kinda pissed off and disappointed in their antics. I know they are just trying to hype up their fights but I feel like it cheapens the sport and paints the fighters in a negative light. And speaking of negative, I'm just going to ignore Gina's weight issues.



Berto and I made weight and we squared off for the pictures. I remember looking into his eyes and feeling like a great weight was weighing him down and that he had lost his love of the battle. If you don't love the battle, in the cage with me is the wrong place to be.
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After the weigh-in, Chris and I went and ate with Scotty Nelson and Scott Berri (spelling?). When we got back to the hotel, the Elite XC top brass had been waiting for us and wanted to take us out to eat again. After dieting for weeks, I was down. We jumped into a van and headed downtown to some fancy steak house. I had the salmon and it was delightful. I also ate a number of tasty desserts, cheese cakes, creme brule, chocolate moos, etc they were all served on little lollypop things on a tree at the table. Very nice ;)

After a good nights rest, I had some oatmeal and coffee and met up with Kelly Carter of www.titleshottraining.com in my hotel room where he stretched me out and performed a lifeline on me. Lifeline is a diagnostic and treatment program designed to balance the body, mind, and spirit. After the session I went back to sleep and rested until it was time to leave for the arena.

Once in the dressing room, my team and I took over the back portion of the room by the showers and set up shop. Kelly broke out his massage table, Chris set up to tape my hands, and Einstein told fart jokes.







Once my hands where taped, I started some light sparring with Chris in the shower room.



I hit the kick pads for a little bit and remember looking down at my hands and feeling almost scared at how powerful I felt. I knew this was gonna be one hell of a fight.



After my warm up I just cleared my mind and focused on how blessed I was to be able to do what I love. I got the call and started my walk to the cage. I knew I had done everything in my power to prepare and that I had good people around me. When I got into the arena they told me there was a ten minute break before my fight and said I could go back to the dressing room. I told them I would rather stay and enjoy the moment and the anticipation. I was positioned just behind the curtain and could see the whole arena filled with people. I was loving it.

I just chilled out and danced to the music playing over the loudspeakers and allowed the moment to sink in. I remembered how it felt to compete in the state finals in front of 17,000 people and how I had blocked it all out so that I could just focus on the match. This time I wanted to really enjoy the energy of the crowd and bask in it. Standing there with my friends, getting ready to battle, dancing to M.I.A. I felt like the luckiest man alive.

Here are the rest of the pictures from the fight. I'll let them speak for themselves until I get the video. I don't really remember the fight anyway. I do know I had a real nice time.










































































After the fight I headed out to celebrate with my friends. We partied all over Miami with a crazy crew of fighters, agents, talent, and hangers-on. Tito was there along with just about anybody who's anybody in MMA. It was a blast. It was my first fight where I didn't drink afterwards and I was happy to be so lucid and able to really enjoy and remember everything.

The night grew into morning and the chance of making our flight grew slimmer still. I managed to round up the crew and break for the hotel but as luck would have it, we missed the flight yet again. I was exhausted and ready to sleep in the airport as long as it took to get on a flight but Chris had other plans. After our second standby flight left without us he had had enough and informed me that it was the universe telling us to enjoy the victory. Before I knew it we were in a cab on our way to The Gansevoort in south beach. Our luggage and all our clothes, however, were well on their way to Los Angeles.

Chilling poolside I felt so good, everything had gone perfect. I was finally making a name for myself and I knew that I had gotten some people's attention with my performance. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the Miami sun.



Needless to say I'm a fucking head case. For me, being mentally centered is the single most important thing for me going into a fight. People always ask me if I'm scared or if I think I will win or after the fact, if I thought I had a chance. To put it simply, yea I always think I'm going to win. In fact, I always know I am going to win. If I don't fully believe with every fiber of my being that I will win the fight, then I have no business stepping into the cage. Secondly, when you don't look at a fighting in terms of winning and losing it makes this much easier. For me, I feel I have already won the fight if I can bare my soul and give my all in the cage. If I am able to fully commit my spirit to the fight then I have already won.

Back when I was just a wrestler I always said that the worst thing about sport was that you didn't die when you lost. I hated that you could be behind on points when the time ran out and that the match was over. I hated that you could get pinned and still have a ton of fight left in you but that it was over. Nothing is worse than having someone else tell you when you have lost. Me? I've never lost. I've just been a little behind on the cards when the time ran out. The best thing about the fight game to me is that you are given pretty much every opportunity to take the fight as far as you want. When fights are 15 minutes or even 25 minutes long you have plenty of time to find out who is the better man. Outside of the knockout, which thankfully, I have never experienced, you are given the opportunity to leave it all in the cage. If you are caught in an arm bar, you have the option to tap out or let him gas out bending it the wrong way and then use it to beat him senseless. I think that submission are basically just a universally recognized way to give the man a way out. No one is going to call you a pussy for tapping out in an arm bar or to a choke but the reality is, if you still want to fight, you won't tap. If your body shuts off thats one thing, but giving up is another. I will never give up. Fuck that. Knock me out, choke me out, but get me to tell you that you're the better man? Fuck that.

That's the best fucking thing about MMA is that it allows everyone to see exactly what you are made of. Some people don't know what they are made of and fighting is a way of showing them that.

I think I fight to overcome my fear that I'm ordinary.

There is nothing worse than being ordinary, no fate worse that mediocrity.

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, fabulous, gorgeous, talented? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You're playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that's within us. It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we automatically give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others."

I am truly blessed to be able to do what I do. I mean, how many people can say that they have given their all to anything? I mean, really gave everything? You know why people don't give their all to anything? Because nothing hurts more than giving everything. This is why I love my job because I am able to pour every ounce of my being into one task and to pursue one goal with all my heart. Just by committing myself fully to the achievement of a singular goal, I have already won the battle of the spirit.

I don't view the world in a linear manner. I believe that my spirit is eternal and everlasting and that only my physical body or shell is temporary. I believe that I have already fought and died thousands of times. I know that I will fight for eternity and each individual event is but a ripple in the river of my existence. There is no pain that I have not felt and survived and no death that I have not already died so there is nothing to fear.

I happen to like my physical body this time around because I have been blessed with a nice one strong athletic one, at least that's what the girls say ;). However, the reality is that it is nothing more than a temporary home for my spirit and that it will eventually break down and return to the earth.


Why is it that we fear we are great? Why do people fear success more than they fear failure? Is it because once the goal has been achieved we are robbed of our sense of purpose? Who are we without a challenge? Who are we without a way to measure ourselves? Why is it that without a measuring stick against which to judge ourselves that we feel lost? Are we trying to play god? Is our desire to judge so great that without a means of determining a winner and a loser, a sinner and a saint, that we lose our lust for life? Why is it that those who are given everything, value nothing?

Is struggle the meaning of our existence? Is it only by walking through the fire that we truly know ourselves?

These are just a few of the questions that raced through my mind once I finally got back to LA and had some time by myself to decompress and look back on everything. I always get a little down after a fight but like I said, I have the best job in the world. I took a week off from training and have since gotten back in the gym. I am working very hard to continue my winning ways and my team at Legends has really come together in the weeks since my fight.

Thanks to all my sponsors and teammates for making this possible. I love you guys. And to Favi, I couldn't do it without you. And to Chris, this is just the beginning of a beautiful journey, thanks for sharing your secrets.

Fighting is about discovering yourself, it is about forging your character, it is about daring to do the thing that is hard to do. It is about walking headfirst, unafraid into the fire. The Bible say, "We wrestle not with flesh and blood but with principalities". Fighting is not about beating flesh and blood opponents, but rather winning the internal battle. It is about overcoming fear and doubt and finding the spirit inside, finding the courage that so many lack. Fighting is a path to true self knowledge and for me, to internal peace.

I will shine brightly on Oct 4th and will inspire many to fight their personal battles head-on, unafraid, knowing that all you can do is give it everything you have and believe with all your heart that whatever transpires is what the universe has planned for you. I walk unafraid, unencumbered by doubt, and free to take any risk to achieve my ultimate goal of enlightenment and self knowledge. All you can do is let go, let God, and fight with every fiber of your being. I hope you all will join me as I face my destiny. With great sacrifice comes great reward.

I would rather live one day as a lion than a lifetime as a lamb

So I was offered a fight a few weeks ago. Then I was told it was a mistake and was offered a different fight. I missed the deadline for that fight and thought I was out of luck. I was disapointed to say the least. I mean I really need the money and that's to say nothing of my deep seated need to express myself through physical violence. I was pissed, depressed, and feeling a little hopeless.

Today I was offered another fight and this one I took. This fight is going to be much more difficult than the one I was initially given. This fight is sooner than I had planned on fighting. This fight is my destiny.

I'm fighting Edson Berto on the Elite XC Heat card in Sunrise Florida on Oct 4th. My Fight may or may not be televised but I can guarantee you won't want to miss it. This is my first opportunity to get back in the cage following my victory on March 21st in which I broke my jaw. I have put in a lot of work, made huge sacrifices, and changed both as a fighter and as a person.

Mark your calenders, set your tivos, and check out proelite.com on Oct 4th because it's my time to shine. Win or lose, you will see me bare my soul to the world and redefine determination and heart. It's going to be beautiful and I promise you won't want to miss it.

Infinite love and gratitude bitches, it's time to bang.

Something is missing, something is wrong
Where I should feel something, all feeling is gone
Restless I sit, alone in my head
I can't find the feelings that made me say what I said

Anxious and angry, reckless and scared
This emptiness haunts me, my judgment's impaired
Demons of doubt that so long lay at rest, are gnawing away at a hole in my chest
Emptiness haunts me, a complete lack of pain
If someone feels nothing, does that make them insane?

I lace up my shoes without knowing why
How can you run from something inside?
I put on my headphones to keep others away
I turn off my phone for the things I might say

I turn up the volume and run down the stairs
Faster and faster, my speed drawing stares
I push and I push till there's no air to scream
Force feeding my demons, a breakfast of pain

Farther and faster and higher I climb
Fleeing devils of doubt entrenched in my mind
They bathe in my bloodstream and fill me with doubt
They siphon my sanity till I've nearly tapped out

Will I survive or be torn apart or will I be saved by the strength of my heart?
How far must I go to answer my questions?
Why do the most brutal battles bring the most valuable lessons?

Will the love of an angel survive my depression?

So It has been forever since my last fight. It was march 21st for those of you keeping track. I won my fight by unanimous decision as some of you may know. Unfortunatly, I broke my jaw just before the 2 min mark of the first round.

At the time I didn't know what had happend and just thought that I had lost a tooth. I could feel a gap in my mouth so I told my corner to find the tooth that must be on the mat somewhere. They told me there was no tooth in the cage so I tried to reassess the situation and realized that I had a compound jaw fracture and the "hole" I felt was a break in my jaw between teeth, not a missing tooth.

Needless to say, I gut checked my shit real quick and answered the bell for the second round intent on smashing my opponent for having the audacity to break my jaw.

http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x4st2y

http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x4st4u


Those are the links to the fight on dailymotion. My fight doesn't start until like 8 minutes into one of the clips and finishes in the other but it's a great fight and well worth the wait.

After the fight I bounced to the hospital, busyily texting my friends back at the casino that I would be back soon and to start poppin' the champange. As I sat in the ER the adreniline began to wear off and I started to realize the severity of my injury. I quickly hollerd at the nurse for some Vic's and remedied the situation.

After getting a ct scan the doc said I needed surgery to repair the jaw and that I had two options. The first option was to go in, realign the jaw, put in a plate and screws and remove a tooth but leave my jaw open so I could still get food in. The other option was to go in, realign the jaw, and just wire everything shut for 6 or 7 weeks.

Never being one to shy away from a characture building experience, I told the doc to wire me shut. I should mention that the ER doc was a copmpleate pussy with no bedside manner at all. He seemed so shook by my injury I felt I had to calm him down and tell him I was gonna be fine. He didn't seem very confident in his ability to perform the surgery to install the plate so I opted to take the safe route and just lock it up.

Fast forward several months, so the jaw didn't heal correctly, the nerve was severd, the fracture got infected, the root of the tooth in the fracture line was splintered, . . . etc etc etc.

So on tuesday, after waiting for months for insurance bullshit and going to four different doc's I finally had my second surgery and this time got the plate, lost the tooth, and left my jaw open. Which is where I am today. I never posted about the fight or the surgery or whatever because I wanted to take my time and really tell the story properly but after two surgeries, countless doctor visits, and several months I figured fuck it, I'll post the fight, let you watch it and jump top your own conclusions.

I'm out of training for 6 weeks now or untill they give me the go ahead. I will be back in the cage fighting as soon as I am cleared. I love this sport and view all setbacks as gifts. I will only be that much harder when I return, if you can't kill me don't plan on beating me because I will keep coming forward. I have already had my jaw broken, what else can you do to me? I can take anything you can dish out and I will still press on. Good luck trying to beat me. Am I cocky? Yea. Am I dilussional about my invinceability? yea for sure.


Aren't I an English major who should have proof read this and spell checked rather than just posting it all stream of conscionsness crazy style? yea but you know what? I'm a cage fighter and I do what the fuck I want.

Word, go get some. train hard and smile daily. Look for the hurricane to be rocking some shiny gold fronts soon.






maybe I'll edit this, maybe I won't.

Well, It has been a while since I posted a new blog but I wanted to keep you all updated on what has been going on with me.  Just last Friday on June 1st I had my second fight in the IFL for the Los Angeles Anaconda's.  I cemented my spot as the 155lb alternate for the 2007 season during my hard fought decision victory over Clint Cornell of the Razor Claws back in March at the Forum in LA.  On Friday I had the opportunity to fight again for the Anacondas and finally show my team and coaches what I am capable of when I'm healthy.

I was facing a tough professional kick boxer named Tristan Wit.  I knew that he was going to have great stand up so it was my game plan to take the fight to the ground as fast as possible.  After he landed a quick left hook I changed my game plan and blasted him with a jab/uppercut/ left hook and then an overhand right before hearing Shawn Tompkins tell me to reset.

I pulled back, reset my stance and looked to shoot.  After playing the distance game and eating both an inside and an outside low kick with my left leg I got my opening and shot.

Once on the ground I worked submission after submission looking for the tap.  Wit fought out of a tight guillotine from half guard and right into a tight D'arce from the same position. 

After losing the D'arce, I passed his guard and gained the mount.

After taking several hard shots, Wit gave up his back and I worked for the RNC.  With the clock ticking down I transitioned to the reverse cross face.  I felt it wasn't tight enough so I allowed Wit to regain his base where I secured the deep hook with my left arm and dove for the swim move at the ten-second mark.  He didn't know to roll, so rather than ending up in spider web I straitened his arm from my side and got the tap with one second on the clock.

  Needless to say I was super happy.

The rest of my team fought great as well and we pulled out the team victory over Mo Smith's Tiger Sharks.  My next fight is on Aug 2nd in Rutherford NJ so if you are out east get your ticket at www.IFL.tv and come check us out at we battle our way towards the championship ring.

The after party was at Denny's because we were in Everett, Wa and apparently that's the hot spot.

 I had to be in the hotel lobby at 4:30 to catch my plane back to LA so needless to say there was no sleeping involved and I was a very drunk, passed out boy on the plane.